Joke Of The Day

Hey it is Friday. Let’s take it easy with a couple jokes. Courtesy of my remisier, Jay.

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The Credit Crunch: explained in a pic and a few quotable quotes

A trader: “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I

still have a wife.”

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President Bush said clients shouldn’t be concerned by all these bank

closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said.

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George Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman

brothers His thoughts at this time go out to their mother as losing one son

is hard but losing two is a tragedy.

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The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side

nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.

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There are 30 billion prime numbers below 700 billion. The rest are all

subprime.

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How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.

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What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the ocean? A good

start.

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Why are all MBAs going back to school? To ask for their money back.

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For Geography students: What’s the capital of Iceland? Answer: About Three

Pounds Fifty…

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If you want to gamble, go to Las Vegas. If you want to trade in

derivatives, God bless you.

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Whats the difference between a guy who just lost everything in Vegas and an

investment banker? A tie.

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Whats the difference between a bond and a bond trader? A bond matures.

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Lehmann have changed their recommendation on Lehmann from hold to sell.

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Forty years ago I sold fifty shares of my company stock and had enough

money to purchase a brand-new 1967 Ford pickup. Last week, I checked it

out, and if I sold another fifty shares, Id have enough money to buy a 1967

Ford pickup. So, the market has stabilized.

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